I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
