You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
