But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
