Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
