Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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