why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
