Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
