FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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