Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
