I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
