Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
