he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
