Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
