What a fucking waste of an outfit
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i barfeds in our rink
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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