Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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