3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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