I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
