Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
