I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
