I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
