In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
