Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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