So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
