How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
