nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
