Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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