So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
