I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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