I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
