I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
