turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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