Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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