I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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