you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
