Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
