I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
