It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just pynch a tree in the face
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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