If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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