are you still at the devil's house?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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