last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The power of my boobs compel you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
