Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
