No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
