i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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