Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
