I want to walk on stilts...naked
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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