normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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