Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
