Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
