Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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