I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
